Made of Glass

This is a story I wrote in college, during the time in my life when I most wanted to sever the the ties that bind. The picture is courtesy of Eric.

Made of Glass

(1)

"Oh Mama, why can't I go out and play?"
"If you really want to, Jonathan, you can, even though you're made of glass and would be broken. And when you break, so too will I."
"Please Mama, don't cry. I won't go out...I'm sorry."
"I would give you anything in the world, Jonathan, but if I lose you, I lose everything."
"Oh Mama."

(2)

"Oh Mama, why are all the other children allowed to play? Don't their Mamas worry about them breaking?"
"No, Jonathan. They are not as special as you are. When your Papa and I created you, we created the most precious, fragile masterpiece we could. You weren't just another child, you were all of the love your Papa and I had."
"And the other children? Didn't their parents love them too? I'm sorry, please don't cry."
"Jonathan, only your Papa and I could love that much. When your Papa died, only you kept me alive. I knew if I died, there would be no one to take care of you, my delicate lamb."
"Oh Mama."

(3)

"Oh Mama, I'm scared. What if they hurt me? What if I break?"
"Sweet, gentle Jonathan. I would keep you home if I could, but the law says you must attend school. Stay away from the other children, and they won't hurt you. Don't run, don't play, don't be like them."
"I won't Mama, don't cry."
"Be careful, Jonathan. If you shatter, so does my life. My love can keep you strong here, but not there. Remember that, and keep careful."
"Oh Mama."

(4)

"Oh Mama, I have broken. It hurts me so. I didn't really mean to run. I hurt."
"Oh Jonathan. It is only a small chip, and yet my heart still bleeds. I could have lost you. I can fix you this time, but next time you could shatter and be unfixable."
"I'll be more careful, I promise. It won't happen again, don't cry. I won't run anymore."
"Every time you run, Jonathan, a little piece of my heart is torn out. I fear one day you will run too far."
"Oh Mama."

(5)

"Oh Mama, I have broken again. It wasn't my fault this time, another kid pushed me."
"You were such a beautiful, perfect baby, Jonathan. So beautiful. I would watch you for hours and cry, for I knew what the world would do to you and your pureness. Before my very eyes you are becoming less and less perfect, and there is nothing I can do about it."
"My teacher said I am not really made of glass, that I am like all of the other kids."
"Oh Jonathan. Already you doubt me. Your teacher does not know about the love your Papa and I had. I'm sorry for crying, but if I didn't love you so much, I would lie down and die right now, for your words twist cruelly in my heart."
"Oh Mama."

(6)

"Oh Mama, I love her, she smiled at me and I love her."
"And so your love for me dies, Jonathan. It was bound to happen. You were bound to find someone to replace me. And when your love for me is completely dead, so too will I die."
"Don't cry, Mama. I still love you more."
"I can't help it, Jonathan. You are still my baby, and the only reason I live."
"Oh Mama."

(7)

"Oh Mama, she asked me to marry her. We're going to get married tomorrow at lunch."
"I am frightened, Jonathan. What if her love is not enough to keep you safe? Only my love is strong enough to do that. And the less you love me, the weaker my love is."
"She does love me. We have the same love you and Papa had. We are going to get married and have a little girl, made of glass like me."
"Then I'm happy for you, these tears are of joy. I have only stayed alive for you, Jonathan, and since you no longer need me, I can go and join your Papa where I belong. You don't need me anymore."
"Oh Mama."

(8)

"Oh Mama, I am broken. She doesn't love me. I don't think you can fix me, I hurt too much inside."
"She broke most of your heart, Jonathan, but you will be okay. You have enough of your heart left to love me, and if you love me, I can keep you alive with my love."
"Do I have to go back? I don't want to, I'm scared. I don't want to break anymore."
"I won't let you break anymore, Jonathan, I'll keep you safe. It will be hard, but I'll do it. Only my love keeps you alive, that and nothing else."
"Oh Mama."

(9)

"Mrs. Johnson, as Jonathan's only living relative, you must realize this won't be easy, that this is an unusual case. It could take years for Jonathan to recover."
"I'm sure you will do what you can, Dr. Preston."
"As you saw for yourself, all he does since his mother died is stare into space. He doesn't move unless someone moves him. The only thing we have heard him say is 'oh mama'."
"He was very attached to his mother."
"Yes, but it isn't surprising, considering that his mother pulled him out of kindergarten and home schooled him for the past six years. His mother was his whole life."
"He's a beautiful child, he looks so much like his mother. He could be a porcelain replica of her."

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If you have any comments, you can e-mail me at hfoster@juno.com